you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
