i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
