My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
