I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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