I wish I only lived at night.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
