I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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