he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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