OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
