so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
