Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
