I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
