mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just gift wrapped bread.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
