i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize