ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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