Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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