The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize