My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
