the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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