I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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