Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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