How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
