if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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