when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
