i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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