We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
vagina is talking i cant
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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