Swine flu. Run for my life!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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