OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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