Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
