just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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