I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
