we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
