I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
