like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
