He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
