i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
