I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
