I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize