So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
