I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
