the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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