is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
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Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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