she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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