And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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