You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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