I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
