also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I skipped work to stalk him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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