I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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