I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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