Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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