we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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