she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
