she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
