There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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