my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
