If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i drank out of a bidet.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
