Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
