butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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