Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
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This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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