She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
