she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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