I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
