He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How's work?
Spinning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
