My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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