it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
